Ken Burns Hates Mexicans

Connect the Dots

"Do you want some horchata?"And thus began Season 2 of Parenthood, the NBC drama about an upper class white family in the Bay Area. Typing this, I realize saying a TV family is White is way redundant. But I emphasize the point because of the incongruous nature of the tasty Mexican rice drink smack dab in a gringo kitchen. I mean, a buck-fifty street corner drink whirring about in a fancy blender amongst the Pottery Barn decor? Crazy. What, were the Bravermans out of wheat germ for their morning smoothies?

Still, the Horchata line was, from my perspective, a bizarre and gratifying moment. Wonderfully strange because of the aforementioned discordant presence of Mexican drink in a Norman Rockwell household: cheeky; gratifying in its suggestion that Latino culture is seeping, slowly -- horchata glass by horchata glass -- into the so-called mainstream of America. Well, at least into its one-hour drama scripts. Which, again, from my perspective, is not a bad thing at all. I love television. All of which is an admittedly long-winded intro to theme of this week's episode of Connect the Dots: the fall TV season has begun. And lots of Phantom sightings of Brown people among the pilots, second season repeats, and sitcoms.

First up, famed African American actor Blair Underwood plays a Cuban on NBC's The Event. Billed as 24 meets Lost, the intentionally puzzling show is under scrutiny because of it's unintentionally puzzling casting decision: Underwood plays a Latino. An Afro-Cuban to be precise. A color-blind casting choice which has left more than a few Latinos-Who-Care-About-Such-Things angry, because, well...probably because Blair Underwood isn't Latino. Nor is he Cuban (Afro or otherwise). He's not Dominican, Puerto Rican, Mexican, Venezuelan, Brazilian, or even from South Central. Jose Vasconcelos' utopian theory of La Raza Cosmica notwithstanding, I'm going to have to side with the angry Raza on this one. Not so much because it's the same old story of Latinos not getting a chance to actually play a Latino (which it is), but Blair Underwood as a Cuban? Puh-lease. Check out the Latino debate here. And the Latina mag story, glossing over the controversy, here.

Two new judges picked for American Idol. Simon Cowell out, Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler and Selena impersonator Jennifer Lopez in. I am a big Aerosmith fan from waaaay back in the day. And I'm not talking the corny "Crazy" 90s era Aerosmith, with the Alicia Silverstone jailbait videos, I'm talking "Dream On," "Toys in the Attic" badass early 70s Aerosmith. Not sure, though, how I feel about J-Lo's legitimacy as a judge for a singing competition. At least one in which contestants actually have to sing and not have their voices layered, over produced and digitally processed to hit certain notes. Go here for an unadulterated version of what Lopez sounds like before the sonic magic of Pro Tools. Be forewarned. It ain't pretty.

 Speaking of judges, the one new TV show with an actual Latino in the lead is Jimmy Smit's Outlaw, also on NBC. Smits plays Cyrus Garza, a conservative Supreme Court Justice who in made up TV world was appointed by George Bush. (I'm guessing Will Smith was not available to play the Mexican American character.) The right-wing Garza's got daddy issues since his lefty Chicano father was buddies with Cesar Chavez and RFK back in the radical 60s. A quick scene of Garza watching Papi and his 60's New Left amigos on YouTube and ten minutes into Episode 1 the now remorseful Garza quits the Supreme court over a death penalty case. Great. The first Latino Supreme Court Justice on prime time TV and the vato quits before the first commercial break. How's that for a role model right at the start of High-spanic Heritage month? Oh, and did I mention homeboy's depicted as a playboy and degenerate gambler? Big deal. So the producers got some stuff right. Thankfully, in the real world, we've got salsa loving Sonia Sotomayor for our heroes. She's a badass. And probably would have made a better American Idol judge than Jenny from the Block.

"Do you want some horchata?" 

 Did I mention the words were spoken by actress Sarah Ramos (picture above), who plays the eldest Braverman kid? Apparently Miss Ramos is Latina. I didn't know that. She's featured this week among the young Raza celebrities in Latina mag's 25 Brightest Latino Stars Under 25. I would have probably guessed wrong on the Latinoness of many on the list. Sara Paxton? Jake T. Austin? Ni modo. These actors, and others of the Bright 25, claim their Raza bonafides by having one parent Mexican, or Argentinian, or Spanish, or a mixture of all of the above. And who am I to disagree. Talk about the future is Meztizo. La Raza Cosmica indeed. Still, one name on the list stirred the rabid cultural nationalist in me: Levi Johnson? Latino? C'mon, we have to set some kind of standard here.

Finally, the Senate Republicans in one fell filibustering swoop prevent the Defense Authorization Act from making it to the Senate floor. That's right, they didn't vote against it. They voted to not even let it be debated and voted upon. Amongst the casualties in the bill's failure are Don't Ask Don't Tell and the Dream Act, amendments added to the bill. Both measures affect millions, and both are significant to America's future. DADT deals with a wide section swath of U.S. citizens spanning all economic groups, a lot of them rich, organized, and politically connected. The Dream Act deals with a bunch of non-voting, illegal Brown kids wanting to go to college. How does this news fit our TV theme post? No surprise which group affected by the rejection of the Senate bill got the media's attention the next day. On Rachel Maddow's cable show, for instance, nearly 4/5ths of her progressive show dealt with DADT. The Dream Act? Two brief mentions totally about 15 seconds in the 60 minute show. A quick glimpse of the headlines in papers across the country reflected the same invisibility. Tavis Smiley, at least, addressed this very issue. Props to him. But the discussion took place on his radio show. And so who did Tavis feature that same night on his popular nationally broadcast PBS TV show? Ken Burns. 

Do you want some horchata? Yes, please, with a shot of Tequila in it...

Make it a double.

Ken Burns Still Hates Mexicans

Been not blogging now for months; very busy with work on the TV show. Thankfully, the season's just about over, so expect some regular contributions in the days to come...

During the hiatus, I missed many opportunities for pontifications on significant things Latino and pop: badass events like Sonia Sotomayor becoming a Supreme Court justice, Mark Sanchez starting for the New York Jets, fellow Tejano Esteban Jordan ("The Jimi Hendrix of the Accordion") featured on NPR (listen here), LA David getting a Facebook page, a Chicano astronaut in space, and some not so badass events such as the broadcast of the entire season of the most racist show on cable TV, better known as Showtime's Weeds, no Latinos on Project Runway, and the Obama administration's decision to push comprehensive immigration reform to next year. But more on all that later. Promise.

I did, however, manage to knock out a couple of music videos for Girl in a Coma. Both were shot entirely within the happy confines of Loop 410, San Antonio -- of course -- and both are off the band's new CD, Trio B.C. I leave you with the vids, and keep coming back to the KenBurns for more posts on all things Latino and pop...

Connect the Dots

Oodles of images teatro and noise I wanted to blog about this past week but my seven days of vacation vow kept me away from my trusty, pan dulce crumbed keyboard. But I had a good break. Saw Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Read some Borges. Caught up on my TiVo. Now back to pontificating about all things Brown, just in time for the election tomorrow. But first a quick highlight of the week that was...

How about the embarrassing fact that fully one quarter of my fellow Texans think Barack Obama is a Muslim? I mean, I know a lot of my peeps still cling stubbornly to the Davy Crockett/Alamo creation myth (well, at least the gringo half of the Lone Star State does), but this basic biographical ignorance regarding a U.S. Senator who's been running a major presidential campaign almost two years now truly astounds me. It's either 1) mass self-delusion, or 2) the internet's not working down there. I'm puzzled. And await reports from my Tejano readers for clarification. Also, any inside news on why the Spurs are sucking this season would be greatly appreciated. 

Let's see, in other news...

Steven Soderbergh's biopic 'Che' opened this weekend at the AFI Festival here in L.A., and no, the world did not come crashing down and apart from the U.S. bailout of the banking industry the country did not turn socialist. I suggest Cubans-Who-Still-(Wearily)-Care-About-Such-Things direct their Mad Men-era right-wing ire away from a Hollywood movie and focus on issues that truly matter to their self-interest, like, perhaps, Cuban Americans' dwindling influence as players in the all-important Hispanic vote in Florida. I'm just saying: a movie no one will see in its four-hour epic length, or losing the ability to blackmail D.C. pols into myopic foreign policy regarding Cuba? You do the math.

Ruben Navarrette Jr. is still deluded.

King of the Hill, TV's best satire, got canceled; adios delicious inside jokes such as characters named Luanne Platter.

The Cowboys are breaking my heart. UT also. And don't get me started on los espurs.

A Chicano Movie is still Number 1 at the box office, two weeks in a row. (For the skeptical cultural nationalists out there, Chicano bona fides on the film here.)

The original Barack Obama -- aka Jimmy Smits as Matt Santos in the West Wing -- gave an interview to Politico in which the actor talks politics and representation. An interesting read from a brown perspective. I mean, if the only Latino pundits we see bloviating in the mainstream media continue to all Republican all the time (see here, here, and the Navarrette reference above), why not get our brown opinion from an actor?

And finally, speaking of Obama and the election, what's especially gratifying is seeing the huge poll numbers of Latinos supporting Obama. This is one great and satisfying wake up to all those gente out there convinced raza would not vote for a black guy. Y'all were so wrong.

Connect the Dots

And just like that my computer is working again! I will not question the hows and whys. But try and get some bloggin' down before the laptap goes dark again...

Barack won tonight. That's seven primaries and caucuses in a row. The momentum is building. Texas looms as Hillary's firewall. And of course that means everyone's pontificating on the meaning and direction of the much-coveted Tejano vote. Even those raza sites usually devoted to chisme and asking such burning questions like "Jessica Alba's ass: is it real or not?", are joining in on the conversation. And to be clear this is no diss at all against my wonderfully snarky hermanas over at Guanabee. Their particular explanation on Why Latinos Are Voting For Hillary -- brand loyalty they conclude-- actually makes an interesting point. But then again I may be biased. Any political theory that somehow includes H-E-B in its analysis, as this one does, is OK with me.

Speaking of Hillary and Latinos, writer Richard Rodriguez of infamous Hunger of Memory controversy, pens a Salon.com piece asking should Clinton win the presidential election, would she become the first "Latina-in-chief? More a meditation on race than electoral analysis, Rodriguez's essay riffs on Toni Morrison, opines that "Latino culture is matriarchal,"  and ends with some words of advice for Obama: "Most Hispanics in the United States are mestizos -- a racial mix of European, African and New World Indian. Most Hispanics would understand Barack Obama if he came to us, not as an African-American but, like us, as a person of confused bloodlines." Check it out.

And finally the National Council of La Raza is sponsoring a site called We Can Stop the Hate, a web page dedicated to stopping the rhetoric of "hate groups and vigilantes" that they believe have "taken over" how immigration is debated in the mainstream media, how "their policy positions frame the country’s political discourse, and their members have infiltrated the media as well as the ranks of those seeking to run our country." A site worth visiting. Especially because of this link to Janet Murguia giving Lou Dobbs a coast-to-coast, prime-time smackdown. Lou Dobbs is such an blowhard...

Connect the Dots

Been busy with a project all week which has left me with little time to blog. But came across three recent news items I couldn't ignore. Mixed messages, again, from the Republicans.

First, courtesy of George Bush, the border fence they're building down in Texas separating Mexicans from real Mexicans, Brownsville from Matamoros, and franchises of Taco Bell from franchises of Taco Bell, not only is driving Texas mayors to flirtations with civil disobedience, but will also create a no man's land not seen since the armed guard, Cold War split of East and West Berlin. From an AP story:

GRANJENO, Texas - Founded 240 years ago, this sleepy Texas town along the Rio Grande has outlasted the Spanish, then the Mexicans and then the short-lived independent Republic of Texas. But it may not survive the U.S. government’s effort to secure the Mexican border with a steel fence.

A map obtained by The Associated Press shows that the double- or triple-layer fence may be built as much as two miles from the river on the U.S. side of the Rio Grande, leaving parts of Granjeno and other nearby communities in a potential no man’s land between the barrier and the water’s edge.

Based on the map and what the residents have been told, the fence could run straight through houses and backyards. Some fear it could also cut farmers off from prime farmland close to the water.

Meanwhile three of the top-tier GOP candidates -- Fred Thompson, Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney --have changed their minds about talking to Brown people and have agreed to appear in a Univisión-sponsored Spanish language debate. At first they said no, but now they have agreed to withstand questions like what the hell is a sanctuary city, what's up with your obsession with Castro, and why do you hate Mexicans so much. According to the article, "the acceptances are a coup for Univisión, unfamiliar to many English speakers even though its audience surpasses that of cable networks such as CNN and MSNBC." That's right, bigger than CNN and MSNBC. Another example of how even obvious over qualifications only barely get you to to the table.

And finally Mitt Romney, one of the top-tier recent converts to the debate, and who apparently is blanketing Florida Spanish radio with ads in espanol for his Latino listeners, came out with a English language TV ad for his New Hampshire and Iowa gringo listeners. (See ad here.) In just 30 seconds vato lays out his real feelings for immigrants: "We all know Hillary Clinton and the Democrats have it wrong on illegal immigration...Our party should not make that mistake...As President, I'll oppose amnesty, cut funding for sanctuary cities and secure our borders." Can't wait to see how homeboy defends that to the hopefully unruly Univision debate audience.

Oh, and a thanks to Soundtaste for linking to my Girl in a Coma video. Rock on.

Connect the Dots

So last Monday night I'm standing in one of those stupid lines of constructed exclusivity waiting to get into the Viper Room on Sunset Boulevard. Girl In a Coma is opening for the Donnas. An entourage of fashionably dressed Englishmen suddenly rounds the corner, skips past us doofuses at the door, and strides inside, no questions asked. Morrissey is in the house. Yes, that Morrissey. Of Queen Is Dead fame. Of the sublime "How Soon Is Now." Inexplicable patron saint to Raza of a certain generation from Montebello to El Paso to the Southside of San Antonio and all points of teenage angst and romantic alienation in between.

It's Day One of what I am now calling my Morrissey Week. The week that ends Saturday in Pomona, at yet another GIAC show (see my photo of singer Nina Diaz above), where I find myself in front of legendary Smiths tribute band the Sweet and Tender Hooligans, who headline. First the real Morrissey, and now the simulacrum, Chicano style. Did I mention this is happening in Pomona, home of Jessica "I'm Not Latina" Alba and Mrs. Kobe Bryant, born Vanessa Cornejo Ubrieta? What this all means, quien sabes, I will let all the cultural study heads out there deconstruct that particular brown confluence.

In any case, I've  heard of the Sweet and Tender Hooligans for years, and this 4/5ths Mexican American band reproducing English pop songs from the 1980s doesn't disappoint. They play an amazing show where in honor of the 20th anniversary of the release of the Smiths' Strangeways, Here We Come, they perform every song off the album. Equally fascinating is the packed crowd of brown kids singing along. Even at those parts where lead singer Jose Maldonado (AKA "the Mexican Morrissey) inserts Spanish lines into the classic Smith lyrics. Crazy scene. Check out this Gustavo Arellano article here for a much better take on the phenomenon than I could possibly write. A must-read for anyone interested in the sometimes strange yet always exhilarating ways of the post-Chicano onda.

In any case, on on to all things Latino and pop for this third week of Zeptember...

Ken Burns's The War premiered last night and the world did not end. I did, however, fall asleep. Sometime after the part about Pearl Harbor. Man, this is going to be a hard slog. My only worry is that with the Fall TV Season beginning, and the 15-hour Burns series occupying some serious space on my TiVo hard drive, some difficult choices will have to be made. The new Bionic Woman vs. slow meandering pan shots of corny Norman Rockwell teens at a 40s era malt shop? Ugly Betty vs. the systematic erasure of Mexican American and Puerto Rican historical presence in the so-called "Good War?" Thankfully, NPR comes to the rescue. In one comprehensive radio story (listen here) they manage to tell in eight minutes what Burns could not do in 15 hours. And this with no pictures, no majestic voiceover, and none of the GM sponsored multi million dollar budget. The radio piece not only details how Latinos heeded the call to duty, but gives a proper historical context for Mexican Americans before and after the war. How the soldiers left a segregated Jim Crow existence and returned home as veterans demanding their civil rights. Now this is Public Broadcasting money well spent. Ken Burns take note.

In other news, Tim Janus, a gringo day trader and aspiring Pizza Maker (?!) from New York ate 10 and 3/4 burritos in 12 minutes to win the self-described world burrito-eating championship. Each burrito, called the Big Kahuna, weighed in at 18 ounces (the weight of your average youth aluminum softball bat), and was stuffed with black beans, rice, pork, cheese, and a "mild" sauce, whatever that means. After the win, MSNBC reported Janus as saying "I love Mexican food." Vato is apparently proving himself to be the "Mexican Food" specialist in the world of competitive eating. Before his burrito victory, Janus recently shattered the world tamale eating record by eating 51 of them in 12 minutes. I don't know exactly why I mention this story except I'm weirdly fascinated by the fact that a bunch of gabachos got together in Maine (?!), decided what constituted a "standard" for a burrito, and some white dude is now the King of Mexican food eating.

And finally, the CBS show Cane premieres this Wednesday. Starring Jimmy Smits and a Who's Who of famous Latino actors: Rita Moreno, Hector Elizondo, and...ok, not that many. The prime-time soap -- modeled, some say, on Dallas and Falcon Crest -- tells the story of the Cuban American Duque family of South Florida, makers of the famous Duque brand of rum. They are rich, good looking, and can dance salsa. Latinos Who Care About Such Things have been complaining for years at the lack of diversity in network television. Well, here is the show. And it turns out not everyone is happy in Aztlan. Well, not exactly Aztlan, more so unhappy in that other mythic center of brown origin, Miami.. According to this report (via Hispanic Tips) Cuban Americans are unhappy that the actors portraying the fictitious Cuban Americans of Cane are primarily Puerto Ricans. For my cubano brothers and sisters I say, with much love, get used to it. I hate to bring up Ugly Betty again, but the Mexican immigrant characters in that TV show are played by a Honduran (America Ferrara), two Puerto Ricans (Ana Ortiz and Mark Indelicato), and, yes, even a Cuban (Tony Plana). Not a tapatio in the bunch. As my East Coast fellow raza blogger Carolina Gonzalez points out, " a lot of the modern-day Miami cubanito & cubanazo details seem right: the generational differences in musical tastes (from Buena Vista to Shakira to reggaetón), references to balseros and Operación Pedro Pan, the persistence of cigars and lechón and that legendary Cuban charm, and the fact that Jamaicans and Central American Mayan Indians make up the bulk of Florida's agricultural migrant workers." A long way indeed from Gomez in the Addam's Family.

Connect the Dots

Was away for a few days helping a friend move from my old stomping grounds of San Francisco down to a grad program at UC San Diego. Crazy trip that took us in a rented U-Haul from the gentrifying streets of the Latino Mission District where pupuso joints give way to hipster martini bars, through a pit stop at my Echo Park Los Angeles neighborhood, to an upscale strip mall in La Jolla where you can get tofu burritos at Whole Foods for 4.99. As I wrap my head around my journey through the various Latino outposts and their individual cultural expressions here's what's been happening in the world of images, teatro, and noise...

The Democrats stood on a stage in Miami Sunday night, debated the issues, and in the process made TV and presidential election history. The questions were asked in Spanish and after a few seconds of the candidate's English language response a disembodied Spanish speaking voice would come on to translate the answers back into Spanish for the Univision TV audience. It was as awkward and meandering a spectacle as that last sentence of mine. To keep things "fair" the two Democratic candidates actually fluent in Spanish, New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson and Connecticut Senator Chris Dodd, were not allowed to speak the mother tongue, and unable to dazzle the audience with their ability to roll their r's, show off their mastery of the future subjunctive tense, and thus demonstrate their ability to hang with the homeboys. Jennifer Woodward Maderazo over at Huffingtonpost has a great write up on the debate here. A similar Univision debate invite has been extended to the Republican presidential candidates and so far only John McCain has accepted. I'm guessing Rudy Giuliani and Co. realize that even with the soothing voice of a translator such phrases as "build a wall" and "beaners go home" would not go over so well.

Alberto Gonzales is still a Mexican without a job. For a quick overview of Latino blog reaction to Alberto "The Geneva Convention is Quaint" Gonzales's resignation last week Latino Pundit has compiled a comprehensive list. Sentiments range from the "you make me ashamed to be Latino" variety to the "you make me really ashamed to be Latino" variety. Now if Raza could only come to agreement on the never ending flour vs. corn tortilla debate there would be peace in Aztlan. And for anyone interested in my opinion on the perennial argument I vote "Flour."

TMZ reports Beyonce has told Latina magazine in an interview that she's "just jealous that [she's] not born Latina." The singer went on to elaborate: "The culture is so beautiful...I noticed a big difference between speaking to all of the Latino stations and speaking to the pop stations or the other stations. With the Latino stations, there was so much love and everyone is so genuine." It's unclear from the short article whether Beyonce wants to be Puerto Rican, Dominican, Cuban, or Mexican. Given the fact that homegirl is from Texas I'm guessing Chicana -- in which case the "much love" part usually manifests itself after a six pack of Bud Lights bought on sale from the H.E.B.

And finally, L.A. Times reviews Junot Diaz's long awaited novel The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao, calling it "panoramic and yet achingly personal. Impossible to categorize, which is a good thing." It continues: "There's the epic novel, the domestic novel, the social novel, the historical novel and the 'language' novel. People talk about the Great American Novel and the immigrant novel. Pretty reductive. Díaz's novel is a hell of a book. It doesn't care about categories. It's densely populated; it's obsessed with language. It's Dominican and American, not about immigration but diaspora, in which one family's dramas are entwined with a nation's, not about history as information but as dark-force destroyer." As my man James Joyce once said, "This race and this country and this life produced me, I shall express myself as I am." Diaz, it seems, embodies this sentiment/strategy perfectly. I mean, any novel that can reference Love and Rockets, Tristram Shandy, Siouxsie and the Banshees, and Domincan history in one place has for sure got that whole hi/lo, pomo stuff down pat. I am on my way to buy this book today. Will blog a reaction soon. Till then, for another rave review go to Carolina Gonzalez's review here.

Connect the Dots

What's up with this hot weather in L.A.? Someone lied to me before I moved here. Thankfully, Lucy's is properly air-conditioned or I'd never get any blogging done. Will soon be posting the new Girl in a Coma video, almost finished with that...till then here's what's happening with All Things Latino and Pop...

Colorlines reports the latest from the multiculti front...seem American Express has chosen fellow Texan Beyonce to represent AmEx in their newest TV commercials. An attempt by corporate America to reflect contemporary demographcs? That's the good news. I guess. Will save Marxist critique for another post. What's interesting here is that Colorlines also slyly provides the casting sheet listing the OTHER non-white characters needed for the national ad spot. Check it out. A quick deconstruction shows how ethnic stereotypes persist in even the most well-intentioned of pursuits.

Sunday New York Times tells the fascinating story of six monumental, Diego Rivera-esque, old-school murals on the walls of the dining hall of San Quentin State Prison. [See photo above.] Unfortunately, no one outside of doing five-to-ten has ever seen the amazing work. And of course, given the art's invisibility, it just had to have be painted by a Mexican American. "Remarkably powerful and almost unknown to the outside world, the sepia-tone murals were created more than 50 years ago by a young Mexican-American prisoner...serving four years for possession of heroin" A High School dropout with little art training, Alfredo Santos was thrown into prison in 1951. Two years later he "submitted the winning sketch in a competition among the inmates to paint a mural on one side of a dining hall." He was paroled in 1953, just enought time to finish the six 100-ft murals chronicling the history of California. An interactive tour of the art can be found here.

Since every blog post needs a villain, a quick click to the latest column by High-spanic pundit Ruben Navarette Jr. always provides a needed conflict. Only problem is deciding what particular right-wing drivel of Jr.'s to choose from: this one where he argues workforce diversity is "passe," not a thing to worry about, big business in their altruistic wisdom will rectify historical wrongs?; or maybe this one extolling the virtues of Jr.'s latest hero, Hispanic ad man Lionel Sosa, who has been using his formidable bi-lingual powers to hawk every GOP presidential candidate since Ronald Reagan to Latinos, George Bush included?; or maybe his column on--...Wait a second. Too many to chose from. My head hurts.

And speaking of coconuts, Dave Mann at the Texas Observer blogs Alberto "the Geneva Convention is Quaint" Gonzales was recently spotted back in his adopted hometown of Austin, Texas. Apparently the vato rolls in a white Hummer preceded by a motorcade of black SUVs. Sounds like Alberto is contemplating life as a rap star after his White House gig. Fellow Tejano hip hop star Chingo Bling, I'm guessing, is quaking in his Nike Ostrich boots. I mean, if you're talking about street thug props, Gonzales has them all beat. Besides eliminating civil liberties and generally laying waste to the Constitution, Alberto's a stone cold killer: As Mann aptly puts it..."perhaps [Gonzales] is reminiscing about the good old days or as so many do, just returning to the scene of the crime. Since Texas is scheduled to execute its 400th prisoner tonight, maybe Gonzales is here to commemorate his contributions to inflating that number."

And finally, it seems white kids are happier than black and brown kids. Huffinton Post reports "according to an extensive survey of 1,280 people ages 13-24 by The Associated Press and MTV, 72 percent of whites say they are happy with life in general, compared with 51 percent of Hispanics and 56 percent of blacks...The study also found a split in how the races perceive the keys to happiness. Among minorities, the most important factor was lack of financial worries."

File this one under "no kidding."

Connect the Dots

Running around the motherland busy with music video reshoots, nights and afternoons at the Macondo literary conference (more on that later), and hitting as many San Anto taco joints as possible...leaving me, of course, with little time to post. Strangest sight I've seen, so far, is a table of real, live gringo Texas Rangers -- 50s, silver hair, Tony Lama boots, white Cowboy hats, nickel plated revolvers -- sipping frappuccinos at a Starbucks. They all wore ties over their starched Western shirts. I overheard their conversation, a debate on the merits of an iPod vs. a Zune. I kid you not.

In any case, a real live Chicano actually makes the New York Times Op-ed page. Northern California fiction writer Manuel Munoz (see post below) ruminates on what it means when Brown people named Trujillo or Zepeda are named Kaitlen and Brandon. I once knew an Ashley Ontiveros so I know of what he speaks. Interesting piece on what Munoz calls the potentially "corrosive effect of assimilation," as well as learning to "assert the power of code-switching in public." While I quibble with the romantic nostalgia Munoz gives to losing "real" Mexican names like Heraclio or Eugenio (not to mention a questionable thematic hover near Richard Rodriguez Hunger of Memory territory ) the essay, is, nonetheless, a must-read.

In other news, Wal-Mart crosses the border, south, fusing their dubious stateside labor practices with the Mexican tradition of not paying grocery baggers a salary. According to the Newsweek article, the Mexican custom has always been that teen grocery packers work for tips. A Wal-Mart flack justifies the practice by pointing out the fact that they "didn't invent it." (A primo of Alberto Gonzales, perhaps?) Still, "the 4,300 teenagers who work in Wal-Mart’s retail stores free of charge dwarf similar numbers laboring unpaid for Mexican competitors like Comercial Mexicana (715) and Gigante (427)." Not clear from the company flack if Wal-Mart has also revived the Aztec custom of human sacrifice. Wal-Mart "is Mexico’s largest private-sector employer in the nation today, with nearly 150,000 local residents on its payroll." The reverbs of Nafta continue.

Love to pontificate more, but the light is fading and I have to get a shot of the very badass Acapulco Drive-In Sign before it gets dark.

Connect the Dots

Sitting at Lucy's in Echo Park, my favorite place in Los Angeles (see post below), amid the Big Load commercial washers, the Starbucks barristas, Noticias 24 on the TVs, a wallplug for my Powerbook, catching up on all the news that's fit to post...

First up, via D-listed, comes this Forbes list of the Top Ten Most Expensive Celebrity Photos. Ever. Coming in at #3 is that little ol' gal from Texas Eva Longoria with her Tony Parker wedding pics, which the happy loving couple sold to OK! mag for a cool 2 million. While it was reported #1 couple Brad and Angelina donated the $4.1 million they made off baby Shiloh's pics to charity, Eva and Tony apparently pocketed theirs. The better to pay for the most Expensive Chicano Wedding in History, I'm guessing. Many jokes have already been made speculating about a dollar dance, so I won't go there. I will, instead, let the bridesmaid dresses and giant Tony Parker bobble head on the couple's red wedding cake speak for themselves. Of course D-listed can't help but end their post with a snarky comment regarding the only people of color making their all-gringo list: "I still can't get over OK! paying $2 Million for Eva Longoria?! Nobody knows who she is!" That's what you think, gabachos.

Props to fiction writer Manuel Munoz who La Bloga reports has just been shortlisted for the Frank O'Connor International Short Story Prize for his short story collection, The Faith Healer of Olive Avenue. One of only two Americans on this prestigious world wide list. (Miranda July, director of the sublime Me and You and Everyone We Know, the other stateside writer.) As with most interesting artists -- to me anyway -- Munoz's work revels in a specificity of place, setting his stories in his distinct hometown of Fresno, California, the Mexican American part. Y que! An interview with the writer, now living in New York, can also be found on the La Bloga site. I just picked up the book yesterday. After reading only one story so far I can safely report, DO believe the hype.

Another 80s icon, it seems, is making a comeback. No, I'm not talking about Haircut 100 (though if anyone deserves a second look it's those lads from Beckenham, England, see wacky video proof here), but America's pre-Osama bad boy Manuel Noriega is back in the news. The ex-Panamanian dictator is up for release, for good behavior. Go figure. Vato wants to go back to Panama, the French want him for money laundering. I will not get into the geopolitical implications of his extradition but only want to mention Noriega's enduring footnote in rock history. After the U.S. invaded Panama in 1989, (Operation Just Cause they called it -- Go Figure, again), Noriega took refuge in the Vatican Embassy. Since flushing him out with the full force of an AC Spectre Gunship raining bullets on the home of the Papal See would look bad, U.S. forces did the next best thing, and blasted the building with loud rock music, a la John Cusack in Say Anything. Various news accounts report the Heavy Metal playlist comprising of lots of AC/DC, Van Halen's Panama (of course,) and ...Garth Brooks? Anyway, as an experiment, I am listening to AC/DC now (the transcendent Bon Scott-era) on my ITunes, as I type. Hm. I think it's working. I feel the uncontrollable urge to turn myself in to the nearest Marine. I am now switching over to the stylings of Down aka Kilo. That's better. Now all I want to do is Lean Like a Cholo.

And finally, indulge-me-time: today is not Lou Reed’s birthday. Today is not the anniversary of anything remotely connected with the Velvet Underground. Today is not even a commemoration of Andy Warhol, Nico, or Brian Eno's famous dictum that while the Velvet Underground’s debut album may have only sold a few thousand copies every person who bought it started a band. The closest excuse I can find that justifies posting this amazing clip of VU’s ‘Rock and Roll’ is that, uh, Velvet Paintings come from Mexico, I'm Mexican American, and, hey, "Velvet's" half the name of this very badass band. A lame stretch, but who cares. I came across this tenderly homemade video this morning and remembered, again, why I love rock and roll...