Far be it for this self-exiled Tejano to diss on my Califa brothers and sisters in their particular Mexican American cultural practices, but c'mon, "wet burritos?" What's up with that particular menu item?
Dousing wrapped carne asada with hot sauce and cheese, ok, I can see how that could be tasty, but would it have killed you guys to come up with a more appetizing name? Calling a burrito "wet" conjures up images of soggy flour tortillas and puddles of beanless bean juice swimming in a beige plastic plate. Hardly a delicacy for which you'd shell $4.99 plus tax. Still, having said that, this dripping taco joint staple has given me the perfect name for a New Feature of KenBurnsHatesMexicans: the Wet Burrito Award.
I haven't quite settled on hard and fast criteria yet but for now let's say soggy ideas, an embracement of self-hating right wing ideology, too many Ricky Martin CDs, or any general embarrassment to fellow Raza will put you firmly in the running. Sort of like an anti-Alma award but with no Eva Longoria costume change, and I promise -- promise -- award hog Edward James Olmos will never take one of these baby's home.
Winner of the inaugural Wet Burrito Award goes to San Diego Union columnist Ruben Navarette Jr. for his recent column purporting to sing the praises of all things Brown.
After an admittedly noble effort to contextualize the significance and presence of "U.S. born Hispanics" in American life (why only "U.S. born Latinos" and not immigrants isn't made clear), Navarette ends, inexplicably, with a shout out to George Bush, lauding Shrub as the only pol who "gets" the value of a diverse America and Latinos contribution to that rosy nirvana.
Take it from a self-exiled Tejano who has witnessed Bush's policies up close, George Bush and his Republican ilk are no friends to Brown people. Ask David Iglesias. Ask the Mexican American voters in illegally redrawn congressional districts in South Texas. Ask Jose Padilla. George Bush as "understander" of Latinos is a discredited belief. A notion that only lives in the fantasies of Karl Rove and his bankrupt political playbook for Republican domination via the votes of future generations of docile Brown folk.
So congrats to Navarette, the winner of the inaugural Wet Burrito Award. Alberto Gonzales, don't despair, the Justice Department inquiry into your alleged obstruction of justice charge by "coaching" the testimony of witness Goodling has just begun.